Arm in arm

It was somewhere between waking and sleeping that I felt her beside me.  We were walking and the sun was shining.  Her presence felt natural, as if she had been here all along.  I moved forward with a purpose, one that I couldn't identify, but that I knew she supported.  Time and place didn't matter.  My heart was light and happy next to her.  And then I woke up.

Lately I've been struck by the fact that it truly takes work to remain hopeful and positive.  It's a hell of a lot easier to be angry and complain than it is to seek out the good.  And sometimes there is no good.  All we have is each other and a whole lot of awful stuff.  Things we can't fix.  But arm in arm we find a way through.

When you watch people you care about fight for their lives, it sobers you to the reality that time is not infinite.  It makes those little annoying things that happen on a daily basis seem trivial.  It can even be hard to be joyful.  But plow on we must.  Because joy can come to you at the craziest moments.  When you think you're at the edge and can go no further.  But you have to be looking for it.  Working for it.

When my mom comes to me like that, it's hard to know what to make of it.  I just savor the moments of feeling like she's next to me.  But somehow this time, I knew she was there for support.  Silently reassuring me; helping me to continue moving forward.  To continue the journey with a hopeful heart.

Maybe the goodness in this world and the one beyond is connected.  It's never easy.   But when we seek the light, we will find it.